PUBIC in PAIN

There was the day
at the Van Houtte cafe
when I cleaned the piss
off my crotch
with washroom paper
and a piece of gum
got stuck to my pubic hairs
I gasped in pain
as I pulled the gum out
reminiscing the moment
he'd pull at my pussy hair
when we were sinful
and frozen like waxed figures
and selfish because of sexual excitement

and wishes

for stories
that crept between the
damp textures of disease
and our clogged souls
raptured in the now
and the things we could hurt

It was painful and I laughed
just like in the fluorescent bathroom
where a stranger's germs
crawled amongst my crotch hair
and hurt the way I like

wet ego

I love men
who are geniuses
but I hate
feeling stupid

STRANGE

He sat there
with all his oddities
and conventions
and conventionally
unattractive.

but then he said
he did not think
this place was strange
with a slight
shake in the head
and that made me very horny.

BIRTHDAY

I turned 21 35 minutes ago
what the fuck shall I do
for this special day?
amidst a life of beauty
and superfluous dialogue
a loud laughter so void of feeling
i have to keep swallowing my puke
because people won't like to see it
even if it's my birthday.

The Gruesome Sound of Affection on Display

Few things
are as aggravating
as the squeaking hiss
of two lips jammed against each other
the lethargic tragedy
of needy love
pressed against my ear
pressed against to sear
meant to make believe
that
affection can be narrowed down
to this one
monotonous
trivial
action
replacing conversation
to swallow another mouth’s oxygen

They are giving up knowledge
for death
in the name of love
and manage to irritate
my neurosis furthermore
with the excruciating
taunts
of the sordid stings
of the morbid rings
of the screeching
of the kiss.

Perverted System

We are swaying
amongst the stale
underscents
of the Montreal metro
system

It's a system.
And we are all in it.

And it's not clear
why
I enjoy
to stare
so ever intently
at men's crotches,
but I do, and
no one notices

cuz I'm the
most beautiful pervert
in the system.

Debil

I went to the doctor today,
who smiled quietly when
I said I had never before
had sexual intercourse.
Then she asked me if I was dating girls
before asking
If I was dating guys

I guess virginity
must connote
homosexuality nowadays.

“It might be nice for you to meet someone” she said.
I nodded
crumpling the lips

At the end of the session
She said I had a low self-esteem to work on
And I almost laughed
because I don’t trust to
have the strength to overcome it.

unable to

Often I see you
as a reflection of
my failure

and your disinterest
becomes ever so more painful
more because of me
than because of you

Fortune

Whenever I get my cards done
The Hermit appears

repeatedly

then
efforts
to overcome
solitude are
fruitless
if sewn
into my fate